She says "Yes"
Saying "no" can feel so good. Comfort is what we cherish as humans, and sometimes to find it we avoid what scares us, makes us anxious, or feels unachievable.
Avoidance can't serve you but willingness to take on what you previously believed you couldn't can. That sentence is so easy to write but so hard to practice.
I've practiced willingness for the past ten years in little pockets of anxiety. But, having willingness to face your fears is a dial and I operated at mid-volume for a long time.
As I said in a previous post, it hasn't been until this year that I really started to push through discomfort for myself and no one else. In doing so I’ve found that there's magic in moving toward what scares you, and there’s beauty in the radical acceptance you take on once its done. My biggest fear at the moment is flying, and while I wouldn’t say I’ve truly accepted it, I did briefly look out the window during take off once.
When it comes down to it though I’m a novice at seeking discomfort and dialing the willingness up all the way. So, I touched base with a group of guys that really know what living life on the opposite side of your comfort zone is like – Yes Theory.
Founded by Ammar, Derin, Matt, and Thomas through a series of fateful and fortunate events, Yes Theory says ‘Yes' to experiences and challenges that bring forth new perspectives. The theory behind it all, by saying yes and being vulnerable your world opens up.
Ammar, Thomas, Derin, and Matt (Image: YouTube)
The company came about through its Youtube channel and continues to create uplifting videos. However, you may have seen them on Snapchat discover stories, or when they challenged Will Smith to bungee from a helicopter and then did it with him (!!), or you may have even spotted someone wearing a sweatshirt from their clothing line with the motto ‘Seek Discomfort.'
Zack Honarvar, Yes Theory manager, told me that following this theory isn’t just for show, "We really have skin in the game and truly believe that this approach to life leads to the most fulfilling life imaginable."
Zack Hornavar, (Image: YouTube)
Now, I only just discovered Yes Theory this month, but I was hooked after the first video and with my willingness already dialed up and ready to go, I couldn't help but spread the message of Yes Theory to everyone from coworkers to Uber drivers all of whom said the same thing, “That sounds incredible."
Embracing the idea of seeking out what makes you want to run and hide holds you accountable to go after your goals. Once you set a precedent for wanting to live life to its fullest, even in the smallest ways, you're set up to continue to do so, both from yourself and others, which is ironically liberating.
"I'm constantly finding myself in positions where I'm faced with a fear or a challenge that makes me nervous, but the first thing that comes to mind is ‘I have to Seek Discomfort' and say ‘Yes,' or else what type of example would I be to the Yes Theory community? It pushes the rest of the team and me to hold ourselves to a higher standard in terms of living what we preach," said Honarvar.
Practicing what Yes Theory preaches is essential while wearing their clothing line which is decked out with youthful and colorful designs to remind you and the world around you to Seek Discomfort. The reminder to like out loud is even on the packaging.
"We have a warning label for our clothing that they should not be worn during boring activities, adventure only. We truly mean that. Our fans wear our clothing on their big days. Exam days, race days, and the days where they choose to get on a plane, train, or bus and see a new country, state, or city," Honarvar explained.
He continued, "I think it's important for people to think about the brands and logos they wear on their bodies. In today's day and age, advertisements are everywhere we go. Whether we believe it or not, our bodies serve as billboards for the brands we choose to wear and support."
The clothing line has enabled a community of people who believe in the philosophy of living life to the fullest to form. Fellow adventure seekers nod in acknowledgment with each other or stop and ask ‘Where’s that shirt from?’ Making friends with strangers, and in turn building a community, is also something Yes Theory is passionate about too.
With a bustling Instagram and collaborative Yes Theory Facebook group, one can find themselves challenged and empowered to chase their fears after seeing another member of the community do so.
Honarvar added, "It's a mindset [saying yes] that allows you to dream like anything is possible, and a philosophy that leads to ultimately tapping into one's full potential. We're going to unite a community of people who approach life with this attitude and give them tools to achieve their wildest dreams."
As someone who has practiced exposure therapy, a clinical way of seeking discomfort if you will, I know that often your greatest dreams have an entrance blocked by your greatest discomfort. For me, living my dream as a writer has presented itself with a million and one opportunities each guarded by another challenge. Here I am though about to blow out 24 candles and I’m following the theory in my own way; vulnerable, willing, writing, and officially a frequent flyer.
What's next for Yes Theory? Well, Hornarvar clued me in that the group is currently working on a podcast, and they are even working on a book that should be out around 2020.
What's next for me when it comes to seeking discomfort? Well, I got a plane ride to New Haven, CT coming up. I'll be sure to both Seek Discomfort and wear it while balling out Yale's writing workshop...oh yes, you read that right, no I can't believe it either. There it is though, my dream and all it took to get there was a whole lot of discomfort.
