Refueling Part II: Human Noise
“I could hear my heart being. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.”
This quote comes from the story What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by the famous beatnik Raymond Carver, and while I’m applying it to an entirely different context, it feels accurate.
It feels applicable, not because I can hear the human noise of everyone’s heart beating, but because I can’t, and I’m longing to. Refueling through art isn’t just engaging with it, but understanding the way others are trying to give themselves energy through art too. When we open ourselves to understanding that others are feeling isolated, distressed, in need of help, and so many other things, we can find ourselves listening for the drumming, recharging, beat of human noise they are looking for and finding.
I asked some of my friends how engaging with art, in whatever medium they connect with most, has been a refueling source to them during this year, a time where we face a pandemic, are seeing the effects of a climate crisis, as well as a time in which we are standing up against longstanding systemic racism and oppressive forces, and their responses echoed my own feelings.
Music has been a force for most. My friend Tracy stated, “Honestly music has been the biggest crutch for me during this time. We’re so isolated right now and there’s something about having my headphones in and immersing myself in someone’s voice and production that’ makes me feel less alone in the simplest sense of the word but also less alone in my emotions, pain, anxieties, worries, and hope.”
Another friend Teresa had similar sentiments, “Music has been particularly healing for me, in terms of hearing words and melodies that fit a mood and validate an experience. Having different types of vibrations going through the body, different emotions and sensations open up.”
She also mentioned the hopeful memories of concerts that filled her with emotional energy once and will again, “being in a crowd of people who are bopping to the same tunes and moving in the pit keeps me present and has me moving in ways that feel like release. Concerts help create a holistic experience, including physical movement, emotions, and community, and I feel connected.”
Connor, detailed just how important art has been to him as a form of escape and a place of education, “In recent months art gives me the opportunity to both mentally escape the environment and also be educated on it – anything from loneliness and isolation to racism. The flexibility art allows the individual to go into it with a stronger intention. If they want to escape, they can, if they want to get more involved, they can. Also, the same piece can be both an escape and a point of education depending on the individual.”
Art as a source of education can be a place to charge ourselves as a means of preparing to fight against the forces that have been creating distress for many years before this one in particular. Art is a way so many people express themselves and the pain they have felt and a place to escape from that pain. As the world is seeing the clear effects of longstanding systemic racism, tuning into art can give perspective to individuals who haven’t experienced oppression firsthand, like myself, of the broken systems that have harmed so many. Art can also be a place to educate allies on how to best support those who have been oppressed, but as it is a form of escapism for many, educating one’s self through art needs to be done with the utmost of respect.
That escapism, Connor mentioned, has been a place of restoration for so many of us, giving us a place to be present in sensations outside of what we are feeling.
A place where many of the millennial generation have escaping to has been the world of Harry Potter. It can be a hard place to escape to right now, after J.K Rowling made transphobic comments recently, but many are pushing aside J.K Rowling and taking in the world the books enabled them to create within their own mind.
A friend of mine Lily, stated that reading Harry Potter feels like going home when a sense of feeling at home in this time feels like it’s slipping away, “I restarted Harry potter looking for some form of nostalgic normalcy. I love knowing what is going to happen and something about the books are so comforting and routine and I know exactly how I’ll feel reading them.” When asked what it is about Harry Potter that makes her feel so connected to it she said, “I think it’s the development of the characters and definitely the world you enter; an escape from reality.”
Nostalgic normalcy was an overarching theme to those asked about finding healing and refueling through art. Jennifer told me she had been engaging with the type of art she created and identified with when she was young. She said, “I’ve picked up knitting and sewing, and I’ve tried my hand at painting again. I’m going to start making jewelry again soon, and I hope to paint more often as well. I’ve grown to appreciate the time thought that needs to go into each process. Re-exploring my artistic side has forced me to be more patient with myself and what I am doing. It’s been great to fill what would be idle time with a creative form that allows me to relax but that also produces a final product I can be proud of.”
“During this pandemic, something I’ve been struggling with is feeling like I am not learning anything new. However, staying engaged with my art has been a real source of happiness lately because I can look at something I have made and feel as though I have done enough. Artistic processes have helped me learn that I can stay happy even if I am alone, which has also helped me feel more empowered and independent,” She continued.
Empowered, independent, educated, connected, comforted; the emotions all those asked felt as they engaged with art during great distress. The human noise we long to hear is an omnipresent hum; its a reminder we are all looking for power to overcome the distress of today, of yesterdays, and tomorrows.
It should be mentioned that almost everyone mentioned one artist they have been especially connected with; Taylor Swift. Her album Folklore was mentioned by nearly everyone, and it really has been a place people feel they can open themselves up. Her music enables many to explore the feelings they are facing. I’ve compiled a playlist of the music my friends have been engaging in right now, and included of few of the pieces I've felt close to as well.
