Saturn's Return in the Age of Aquarius

Willie Nelson flicks me off every time I leave my bathroom and that just about sums up being 29 in the Maggie Lynch experience. Imagine brushing your teeth and seeing Willie Nelson, complete with braids and a big old smile, flipping you the bird. Sometimes, it’s just good fun other times it feels symbolic. As I near thirty, it feels more and more like I should take Willie down, tuck him away, and never get told to ‘f off’ when I wash my face. I can’t though, there’s too much power in the wisdom of Willie’s smile, especially now, to remove that cheeky rebellious energy from my daily routine.

It really doesn’t matter if you believe in astrology or don’t to recognize that this time in our lives feels particularly transformative and frankly a bit catawampus. There’s a revolutionary spirit brewing under our feet. If you do believe in astrology, you’ll note that the last time we were in the ‘age of Aquarius’ was 1778. I’ll let you determine what that means to you. But, the ancient astrologers believed that when Pluto is in Aquarius it is a time where community bounds are strengthened alongside strong waves of renewal and innovation. To me, it’s the eye of the storm of change.

Because I am a human who still has to grow and evolve, I too, have my own revolution brewing. Even if you aren’t into the stars you’ll recognize that the precipice before 30 is also kind of the eye of the storm. Except this storm stirs from my solar plexus and rains down questions of worth, path, and expectation. If you are a stargazer, you’ll note that this time period in a person’s life is known as Saturn’s Return. It is said that the period of time when Saturn returns to its place in the sky it was in when you were born is a time of inner turmoil. I look at it like I’ve been given a big menu to study my whole life and now the waiter is approaching to take my order, but I’m still deciding between entrees.

Not everyone gets to think about their own growth during times like these and I want to work to get to a world where we all can.

I’ll set metaphors and analogies aside for a moment and state that this is a time in the world where everything can go in different directions and no one is quite sure what to do, but very certain at their core what they feel is right. I feel compelled to make sure to do everything in my power to create a safe, blossoming, evolving, and healthy country and world, but also feel like I don’t have much power to do so. While also sensing like my own life can go in different directions, but this time even though I have the power to make those changes, I have no very certain feeling in my core of what feels right.

I have incredibly strong values of making sure everyone feels safe to be themselves, has food in their stomach and a secure place to live, to leave the world better than I found it, and rights to their own bodies. I’ll leave it at that with the resolve to live into these values and more. My essays will always be about finding the universal ties that connect us as humans. I do know and believe at my core, that in general, we agree on more than we disagree on, but we have to examine what makes us living beings in a world together.

Now what is one to do in times like these? Find connection.

I’m very much an introvert, but in order to feel peace when I’m alone I need to connect with others in a variety of ways. In this particular Age of Aquarius, I think we all probably need that as well. Our world is very easy to exist in our bubbles and find false connection in an ongoing scroll. (Albeit, there are some platforms that truly do bring us together and other online platforms that definitely do not). If you look at the past, the way to survive and ultimately get through Aquarius in Pluto is to embrace community.

Decisions are best made when clarity is found, and clarity is often in community. Community also helps us find those levers that we are able to pull and help us act on the strong commitments at our core, the calling of Saturn.

The swirling storm of questions that the hurdling Saturn is bringing to me involve a lot of self-doubt. Will I be able to publish my novels? Will I live in a home with stained glass windows filled with instruments? Will I have the partner that I’ve been holding out for? The only way to know, is by answering the question of who I am and what I value, not just for my world but for me and my own evolution.

The answers started coming when I realized I like peonies and Spring. I’m not solely a winter gal that likes darkness and haunting snow and there is quiet freedom in liking both. There is a person inside of me that cannot be dictated by the external validation of others but can come to light in the community of people I feel connected to that don’t try to dampen it. No one gets to decide what I like but me. Very few people know I love to draw and paint. Even fewer know I used to act. Even fewer know that I truly do not enjoy Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon despite loving psychadelic rock. I kept these things to myself because I wanted to feel accepted by community that never quite fit.

Now the next challenge begins – taking action on what I discover about myself and how I want to engage. There are a lot of doors I have to knock on that I’ve been afraid to. I’ve sent a few DMs to my old college buddies that I let disappear from my life. I’ve started to buy tickets to shows I’ve been worried about going to. I started to say the things I thought no one wanted to hear and found that there are actually quite a few that find value in my voice. I have the power to find my clarity and take action.

I’m still so scared for to turn 30, I feel like I’m 25 and 22 and 16 and also 10. Perhaps that just means the decisions I wanted to make then are now mine to make and to make my world and our world what evolve as Saturn returns and the Age of Aquarius carries on. Willie Nelson stays up.