Sobriety and Frat Parties
Before I begin a few notes: I am of legal age to consume alcohol. Frat parties can be a lot of fun.
“Seven,” I muttered after I was asked for the 7th time if I needed a drink. I was keeping track out of sheer annoyance that I would soon shake off but in the moment an eye roll wouldn’t even suffice. Each time I was asked by a different guy, sometimes the same guy multiple times, but at a party like this girl’s never asked me if I wanted a drink. It was always men who were asking, or should I say-- boys.
The conversation usually goes as follows, "You want a drink?/Need a beer?/Let me get you something!"
“No thanks, I’m good!”
“You sure?”
“Yup, I’m fine.”
“Oh, c'mon!”
“No, I’m alright. I don’t really drink.”
“Oh… why?”
The above takes place in a yell that is still barely heard, and usually while leaning into each other’s ear to communicate
It’s a great question really, why don’t I drink? Well, if I’m being honest I do drink. I’ll have one or two cocktails on special occasions, or if I feel comfortable with the people I’m with. But, it’s easier to just say I don’t drink. It’s a hard question to answer at a frat party, and explaining that I only drink one beer from time to time is essentially equivalent to just saying "I don’t drink" when I'm with my frat party cohorts.
So I look at the frat guy, we'll call him Chad, and as he asks "Why?" I wonder what to say.
Do I say I get too flirty? No, Chad would love that.
Do I tell him one drink nearly has me stumbling? No, he’d probably like that too.
I want to say, “I just don’t.” But in the world of this party, I want to seem like a good time and not a bore so I refrain from saying anything real. Instead, I smile, pat him on his remarkably sweaty shoulder and say, “I’ll tell you later Chad!”
I’m not gonna tell him later. He won’t remember this conversation anyway, and he won’t care why I don’t want to drink the Natty Light he tried to put in my hand.
He won’t care that drinking on my medication is dangerous. He won’t care that alcohol messes with my brain’s regulation and creates a greater risk for debilitating panic attacks the next day. He won’t care that being drunk makes my need for control so bad, that after too many drinks I get a little paranoid. He won’t care that I used to drink in high school and stopped after a traumatic event with my friend showed me just how easy complications can arise. So, I smile and go back to dancing within the sweaty mass of my fellow twenty-somethings.
Sometimes I’d rather not be there at all, or not be sober for the chaos of it all, but I don’t want to miss out on the beauty these nights can have. As weird as it is to say, some of the best moments happen on nights when the music is too loud, and the room is essentially a sauna. Parties aren’t all that, but sometimes snapshots arise where everyone is screaming along to Mr. Brightside at the top of their lungs, and it’s a moment that solidifies the bond between peers.
I often get told I have a personality that doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time, and that’s partly true. However, sometimes I just have to pretend to be stoked being in a crowded room. In those tiresome moments I let the night wash over me until I'm not pretending anymore. Until I'm living it up against the fading night and not wanting to go home.
The next morning I remember every moment of it, even the bad ones when I got asked if I wanted a drink seven times, but it’ll all be worth it.
That’s why when people ask me if I want a drink, it’s not that hard for me to say no anymore, instead I just let myself enjoy the intoxication of the night.
